Although I don’t live and die by a quota anymore, I am nonetheless the “executive sponsor” for between one and several large business development deals at any given time. Last week we lost one of those deals. A really big one. It would have improved Jigsaw’s market position, increased our data size and revenue by massive amounts, extended our global reach, ensured a nice bonus for several of my team, the list goes on- it was a serious punch in the gut after months of work. There was no loss to a competitor- the company’s board wussed out at the level of commitment required in a flailing economy.

Sound familiar?

I’ve lost tons of deals in my career and at the risk of wandering into Dr. Phil’s world; here are a few tips that have got me off the ground and back in the sales saddle.

First:

- Make sure you really lost. Sit down with all your representatives (coaches, buying influences, whatever you like to call them-if you don’t have them then it wasn’t a deal anyway) and make them tell you to your face that you aren’t getting the business and why. If there is a condition that will change (price, winning competitor has a trial period, the exec standing in your way has a pending sexual harassment ruling) then you are still selling.

- Don’t salt the earth. No matter how tempting, don’t be that Oracle or Parametric (PTC) guy from the early ‘90’s that goes to the CEO’s summer house and demands to have everyone in IT fired. Or flame your coach. Or write in your company blog (oops). The world is a small place- your territory and industry is smaller. Some of the most lasting relationships I have in business were with people I was unable to sell to the first time around.

- Get away from it for a while. You’re in sales- you can skip a day and hang with your family, hike the local inspiration poster mountain, Twitter your Facebook “friends,” shop, get a massage, blow it out with the boys, do origami, catch catfish with your fist- whatever you’re into. Cold calling your next deal can wait- start fresh the next day or week without bile in your throat and a penchant for random violence.

Then:

-Do an autopsy. This process is well documented in lots of business books. Spend some time really thinking about every aspect of the deal and figure out what went wrong. Be honest and get other people involved if you can. Change the things you can control, avoid the things you can’t. Don’t just put the pan back on your head and start battering yourself up against the next prospect the same way, really use what you learned to change the next outcome.

-Figure out and get past the philosophical stuff. If you think you’re not cut out for sales, or your company is going in the toilet, or your relationship with your manager is untenable (called him a pansy in public just one too many times), or you really want to be a gymnast, etc.- make the call whether you are staying or going and get on with it. Whenever you lose deals or get behind on your quota all these pesky thoughts just erode your confidence and your determination in getting deals and generally stress you out.  Pick a time or event when you are going to re-evaluate your employment and shelve those demons until then.

Moving forward (none of this is new, but you need to hear it anyway):

-          Don’t rely on one deal. Keeping a steady pipeline is an exercise in tantric self control, but it will spare you the stress related disorders so common in salespeople.

-          Keep an eagle eye on what will go wrong to kill the deal and assume that it will happen.

-          Don’t calculate your commission before the deal is done. Definitely don’t spend the money before it hits your bank account. Don’t tell your wife anything.

-          Accept failure as part of the game. NOBODY bats 1.000

There. I wrote it out. No need to climb up on the roof of our building and start shooting strangers…