I’ve been holding a sales letter for sometime - a wonderfully written, one page, six paragraph sales letter soliciting my donation to a local foundation. It’s formatted nicely, is hand signed, and accompanies a professional looking donation card.

I bet they don’t raise much money.

The problem with the letter is that it’s about them, not me. And it’s weak in its solicitation for a donation. Here’s how the letter’s laid-out:

• Paragraph one is about the foundation – formation date, affiliation, heritage. I’m not told why I should care.

• Paragraph two is a problem statement, a weak one. Apparently they can’t sustain their growth. Growth in what and why I should care is left out.

• Paragraph three is about their foundation being smaller than others and the need to strengthen our chapter through membership. I still have an idea what they are talking about or why I should care.

• Paragraph four states they have many ambitious goals and the leadership is motivated to achieve them. I’m never told what the goals are, what they want me to do, who benefits, and why I should care about any of it.

• Paragraph five finally asks for my donation. I’m not asked for anything specific and again am not told what’s in it for me, how my donation will be used, and who ultimately benefits.

• Paragraph six thanks me for my support.

Raising money for a foundation is little different from selling a product or service. If you want someone to buy, you have to tell them what they’re buying. Not the features and functionality of what they’re buying, but the what’s in it for them that they’re buying.

I have a task for you.

Look at your sales copy – sales letter, website, brochure, landing page, flyer, etc. Read the first two paragraphs and the last. Lay the copy aside and ask yourself five questions:

1. What is this entire thing about?
2. Why should I care?
3. What am I being asked to do?
4. Why should I believe any of this?
5. How do I do it?

If you can’t accurately and clearly answer those five questions, neither can whomever you’re sending it to.

Never be afraid to be overt. If you want something, ask for it. If you want someone to act, tell them what to do. Lead your reader through the what, when, why, and how. And tell them why they should.

Is there anything you’d add to my short list of five copy effectiveness questions?