During  the brief period at my first job (maybe a week) when I was being “trained,” I couldn’t wait to get into sales because I mistakenly thought, like most people that have never done carried a bag, that it was a cake walk compared to all the other jobs in the frenzied software startup.  After hearing presentations by harried HR people, distracted executives, frazzled tech guys,  and a customer service rep who acted like Tweek from South Park, I was dazzled by the tanned, well spoken, confident, funny and seemingly carefree sales guy.

How could that guy be stressed? In the rare times he was in the office, he was always on his way out to dinner, yucking it up with some customer or leaving to get on a plane to some exotic sounding place-like Phoenix (keep in mind I was from VT and had been on a plane exactly 3 times). He was the only older person that always seemed to be at the mid week Happy Hours. It wasn’t until a bunch of us newbies went to see Glengarry Glen Ross that I began to get a whiff of the pressure cooker that was in my future.

The truth is sales can be right up there with air traffic controller, inner city teacher and first time mother for causing a state of semi-permanent “fight or flight” response. I used to mock other salespeople that showed signs of stress, but over the years I’ve witnessed and fallen victim to enough random symptoms to realize that how you manage stress is probably the most important component of your success and happiness. As a nail biting, fidgeting, absent minded, random sleep habit guy (I wrote this at 3:45AM) with an eye twitch about 1/3 of the year, I’m no Anandmurti Gurumaa.

But maybe some of the techniques I have stumbled into over my 17 years of living life with quarterly quotas can help somebody out there who secretly envies the homeless guy that you saw peeing on your client’s doorway because he doesn’t have to present an ROI analysis to a roomful of skeptical tech dorks and he’s never been “on plan.”

1- Control what you can. Unlike most other jobs, working more or harder in sales doesn’t mean success. Combined with the fact that the decisions that rule your life are made by someone else, usually when you are not present, this lack of control basically defines stress. So get a grip on what you can regulate. Start with your schedule. Our COO at Jigsaw is sales genius and has a capacity for work that is truly astounding, but the guy is ten minutes late for everything and constantly in a rush. This could be avoided if he took  5 minutes to look over his schedule each day and injected some realism into the agenda (e.g. it takes more than 10 minutes to get to the airport in traffic or talk to Fowler (CEO) about anything).

2- Worry about one thing at a time. My thoughts about multi-taking are well documented. But salespeople also need to break down large, amorphous worries like “OMG- my quota is so big” or “my pipeline is pathetic” into single pieces that can be acted upon. Block off time to prospect every week where you don’t think about your 2 deals that are going south fast. When you are “all hands on deck” reacting to a customer problem, don’t open up that contract file full of redlines from your current deal.

3- Respect your body. Given my past (OK, present) lifestyle MSFT Word is actually rejecting these words as I write them as the pinnacle of hypocrisy, but overall physical health has to be a priority to be an effective salesperson and avoid burnout over the long haul. Whatever your vices are: candy, alcohol, smoking, sniffing glue, no exercise, MMO weekends, Plushie conventions, ignoring injuries- eventually everyone needs to rein it in. 

4- Balance your life.  It is so easy to fall into the trap of prioritizing work over everything, all the time.  But before you know it, work is all you do- and it still isn’t enough. Guess what, there is a never ending supply of deals to do, emails to act on and calls to make. If you don’t have a personal life put it on your critical success factors list for your manager if that’s what has to happen to get you to balance. Get a hobby.  Force yourself to take every vacation day you have coming- plus whatever time you can swindle on top.

5- Get Connected. Ironically, even though a sales person spends the entire day communicating with people, they are usually keeping an emotional wall between themselves and everyone else. Sort of like being alone in the crowd. If you travel for work then isolation can get even more pronounced. As much as you don’t feel like it, reach out and have personal conversations and exchanges during the day as a break from the constant goal oriented conversations you need have to hit your number. Better yet, make friends with your customers and everyone feels better.

6- Laugh. If you’re not lucky enough to think that just about everything is absurd, then search out your own comedy. No matter how tightly wrapped you are, you’re going to die, no one really gives a sh^t about the Cisco account, so you might as well get the hiccups once in a while.