OK, try as you might, you were unsuccessful in avoiding at least one shift at your company’s “presentation” in the Exhibit Hall. Being brand new to a company or working out of a remote office in one of the Trade Show capitals of the world (Vegas, San Francisco, Orlando) can happen to the best of us. If this becomes your reality, here are few tips that I can pass along to salespeople that might make the experience a tiny bit more bearable.

10. Don’t wear the uniform. No matter how spiffy your company polo is you still look like you are running the fryer. Wear a suit and people will assume you are a VP and might be hesitant to approach you to beg for a T-shirt. High ranking attendees (if there are any) will inversely wait to speak with you and you might actually get a real lead.

9. Don’t walk straight at a person with your hand out and your eyes on their badge. Look them in the eye like you (and they) are a normal person and say “hi.” When they look away, glance at their name badge.  This works great for checking out other things, too (I’ll let you fill in what you like to look at on people that you meetJ).

8. Avoid being the demo dolly. Anyone that has a chance of being a real customer would want to drive the demo himself on the web, and it always works out that you are showing one of the Golden Girls how to use a mouse when a real customer happens by. 

7. Make sure you are in contact with the booth nazi well before the show so you can pick who you will be serving time with- or more importantly who you can avoid. You DO NOT want to be stuck with any of a ton of different character types, including:

- your sales manager
- your company founders- those guys all suck
- a group of people all less senior  (you will be de facto responsible and have to do everything)
- the aforementioned booth nazi who won’t let you drink a coke or go to the bathroom
- anyone who could be described as “bright eyed and bushy tailed”
- anyone who would describe someone as “bright eyed and bushy tailed”

6. Don’t give into the urge to drink the free beer at the Cheers booth (there’s one at every show). Either you stop at one and spend the rest of the time trying to pry your eyes open or you get known “at the place where everyone knows your name.” Only instead of “Norm” or “Cliff” it’s “conference booze bag.”

5. Stop by the booth early and commandeer a handful of t-shirts or the best chotchkies. You can hook-up potential clients (or “partners” if you are hard up) when everyone else in the booth has resorted to handing out the logo breath mints.   Or trade them for other booth’s schwag.

4. Make sure there is an extra web connection for your laptop. It is always uncomfortable IMing your friend “BigLeroy69” or checking fantasy baseball up on the big screen.

3. Form as many impromptu “meetings” as possible and insist that you have to leave the booth area for proper peace and quiet.  I’ve done this with people in the adjoining booth before- anything to break free.

2. Create an I-spy check off list for all the walking cliché’s you see at trade shows. One point each for lego style hair plugs, not-so-incognito recruiters, white sweat socks with a suit, dwarves, magicians, hairy chest with three buttons undone guy, power dorks cruising the Exhibit Hall on personal time, lurking competitors with fake badges, obvious job seeker guy, drunks from other booths, people of unknown gender(transsexuals count), CEOs with hired escorts (extra point if she yawns while in your booth), the small pack of asian execs who sit through your entire demo even though they don’t speak a lick of English… you know, the whole trade show gang.

1. Grin and bear it. At least you aren’t dressed as a cast member in a Broadway play- like the guys across the aisle. (If you are, quit on the spot- nothing is worth wearing tights.)